Mirroring Practice: The Beloved Who Wears Your Face

Below is an excerpt from a practice I first wrote about in 2024.

For about a month straight this winter I sat down in front of a mirror each day. Some days I was showered and shined up for the day. Other days I had bedhead and was in my pjs. Some days I felt pretty great. Other days I couldn't stop crying. But whatever my state, I sat in front of the mirror. For the first few moments I just gazed at my reflection, intentionally looking on my reflection with both acceptance and compassion. After a while, sometimes I'd say out loud, "I love you," or "I'm here for you." Then I'd switch things up. I let myself be gazed upon by my image. I thought of this as "the Beloved who wears my face." I'd let her look upon me with great presence and compassion. And I'd hear her say to me, "I love you," and "No matter what, I'm not leaving you." Especially in this beholding, something in me would really soften. I could feel it in my body. My night was being translated by a Love-drunk mirror.

I haven't been practicing this so much lately, but it's in my cells. Sometimes in a difficult moment I see "the Beloved who wears my face" beholding me. And I soften. It's as if I have been drinking from the cup and in that moment I can no longer imagine separation.

Maybe you'll want to try this, too. Maybe, like me, you'll have to get past all the voices of the Inner Critic who will tell you, "This is so narcissistic," or, "What a waste of time." Or maybe you'll have to quiet the part of you that only wants to focus on what's not ideal. It might take some practice.

There is third part to my mirror practice. I find it hard to talk about. In the first part I am identifying with my own body, and in the second with my reflected image, the Beloved who wears my face. In the third, I practice identifying with the mirror. I know that sounds strange. I think what happens is that I let go of my image and I let go of an image of the Beloved who wears my face and I simply get a little sense of the energy of us. Or maybe the the bright bouncing energy of Love, the Love that flows between us, the Love in which we live and move and have our being.

If we could release just one thing I'd ask that it would be the illusion of our separation. What suffering that illusion creates. This practice invites us to drink the cup of oneness. Drink, soul friend. Drink until you can't imagine separation.

In Love, and for Love,