If curiosity is the handle that cracks the door into Open Mind, then the willingness to hold paradox is the flickering flame (like that burning bush) that draws us further in.
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Whatever else happens today, I want you to remember this. The very first truth about you is that, like the bread of communion, you have been seen and chosen, gathered and formed, and you are BLESSED.
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Can you recall a time when you, like Joseph, have been betrayed? Thrown under the bus, dis-owned by the very ones who were supposed to have your back? By the very ones you expected to offer you love and support and nurture?
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Let's begin at the beginning: From dust you came. . .
When the reality before me is not appealing, it is so easy to spin out into a frantic fantasy future or numb out. Just like you, I have my favorite patterns for losing contact with the present moment.
But before we let the Voice of Judgment pull us down the familiar shame tunnel, pause. We needn't despair of our patterns. An Everything Belongs (or contemplative) perspective reminds us that the experience of disorientation actually plays a role in our transformation. Artist, teacher and author Shaun McNiff writes, "Transformation occurs when we lose our way and find a new way to return."
I grew up in a theological landscape dominated by the doctrine of Original Sin. Maybe you did, too. For most of my life, I was taught some version of: At your center, there is a Jesus-shaped hole that only Jesus can fill.
This concept is so prevalent, it's not just limited to what we hear in our religious circles; it also shows up in the broader culture. My kids will confirm that pop culture is not my forte', but I do have a new hero in Lady Gaga (I'll save that for another post). In her Golden Globe award winning duet with Bradley Cooper, she sings, "Tell me something, boy, aren't you tired, tryin' to fill that void...."
I understand the appeal of this idea of a gaping void at our center. It seems to explain so much about humanity. Our insatiability. Our poor choices. Our seemingly unanchored floating.
And it may be that there is a lot of space or emptiness or darkness surrounding our core. But I reject this shame-based and fear-based theology of a void at our center. I don't think this is what the Christian scriptures or Jesus teach.
As I walked the labyrinth I prayed, “What can nurture my capacity to remain in and embody Love more fully in this challenging circumstance?” Arriving at the rosette center of the labyrinth, I stepped, facing out, into each of the central six lobes. Allowing my eyes to rest on the first object in view that caught my attention ( a sort of visio divina), I let myself become curious about the wisdom each object might offer
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The invitation to this prayer is the awareness of experiencing an afflictive emotion (anger, fear, anxiety, frustration, obstinancy, sadness…) or bodily sensation (constriction anywhere in the body, with particular attentiveness to head, heart and gut spaces) A day can contain many such invitations! You may recall one now.
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First, there was last week’s bout with the flu, then there was that retail therapy outing which resulted in a bank account balance just a bit too close for comfort. Somewhere in between those two was a panicky conversation with my dear husband. Actually, before all that, it was a tender conversation with my mom, whose memory is failing her, and my impassioned pleas to explore further medical options in an effort to stave off this loss, and her calm and candid response, without judgment: I guess I’ve just accepted that this, but you haven’t.
It seems God, or the Universe (I think of them interchangeably), has had a lot to say to me lately about how to be with my own and others’ limitations.
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When my soul has been overcome with anxiety and doing life feels like hanging onto a rope tied between the farmhouse and the barn in the blizzard of the century (did you read your Laura Ingalls Wilder?), and when it feels that just one step away from that line may leave me lost and eventually frozen, I have found a very simple spiritual discipline that has become that lifeline for me.
It’s called the breath prayer.
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